I love this man’s blog. What he writes so often resonates with me. This is a perfect example. Maybe my ex didn’t realize he did these things but I was often so dismissed for my feelings. I was told I shouldn’t feel this way and that way though I was hurt terribly. Just like when he actually poked on a huge bruise and asked if it hurt. The emotional things were worse. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have my own feelings.

Must Be This Tall To Ride

lumberjack - crying at the gates (Image/Crying at the Gates)

I did, said, and believed things throughout my youth and marriage that were totally sexist—even though I didn’t view them as sexist at the time—and those things more or less turned my wife against me and ultimately cost me my marriage and family.

If you’d have told me I was a sexist, I’d have undoubtedly responded with defensive outrage and mansplained how you were wrong, all the while believing everything I was saying and feeling.

That’s the real danger. THAT is what causes all of these relationships to slowly turn ugly and then end miserably—that we 100% believe all of the bullshit we peddle. We’re telling the truth. We act like we’re right and like we know everything because we all actually believe it at the time.

Life’s worst things happen while we feel CERTAIN about things that aren’t actually true.

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It doesn’t matter…

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