This is a real good Ted Talk on masculinity and being a man in today’s world. He talks about being sensitive as a man and how men are taught to reject the feminine side of themselves. He talks about how men won’t ask for help or talk about real things with their friends. This message is to men and women. Please watch.


So many of my male friends are shocked by the #metoo stories and how many women they know with stories. Somany of them are asking what they can or should do, this is a good read regarding this.


#MeToo testimonies are flooding our social media feeds. For men, realizing complicity can be uncomfortable. On seeing this discomfort as a challenge.

Source: For Guys Reading #MeToo Testimonies — Courtney Martin | On Being

I’ll never forget April 20th, 1999.

Source: Thoughts on Vegas, and Why Men Keep Doing This – Be Yourself

This is a real good read on what is going on with men in our society. I highly recommend The Mankind Project to help our men.

I have always tried so hard to not let politics affect my friendships. I have always been able to agree to disagree. The only reason is was a factor in my  marriage is we didn’t talk about it at all and I wanted someone to talk to about it and share and debate with.  I am failing miserably with this now.

When Trump announced he was running, my first thought was that SNL was going to have a blast with it and that he would be gone pretty quickly. I had no idea that our election was going to turn into a reality TV show. I do not watch those shows because I hate all the back stabbing, conniving, and how people treat each other. I try to treat all people as they are human beings with good in them. I try to find the good in everyone. There is a reason all the street bums in my town talk to me and treat me well. I look them in the eye and treat them like they are people that matter. This election horrified me. The way that Trump would make fun of people and call people names. I couldn’t believe how he talked about women and various minority groups. These were behaviors that I would never tolerate in my children and would not be friends with someone that treats others like this. Now this horrible hateful human being is going to be the president of the United States.

I wish that I could just look at my friends that voted for him the same. So many Trump supporters are vilifying any of us that have protested his “winning”. They are acting like we are crybabies that cannot handle losing. They claim that he never did or said the things we all saw him say and do. They say that they didn’t protest Obama winning. I remember horrible things, including hanging and burning him in effigy.  I cannot help but put these friends in the bigot category now. Some I have known since I was a kid. It is so hard for me to hear them defend Trumps actions and words. I am losing friends and, to be honest, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t want to be friends with people full of hate. The thing I do not understand is how blind they are to him and/or how willing they are to dismiss horrible actions and words from him. I truly believe anyone that defends him is not any better than the people doing acts of hate around this country. I have a friend that was harassed the day after the election and told that he was going to get a letter to have him build the wall. They quickly shut up and started apologizing when he told them he was Native American, not Mexican. This is unacceptable to anyone, even if he was Mexican. We are all HUMAN. I try not to judge but how do I get past this? I have two daughters, one of which is gender fluid and bisexual. I am a sexual assault survivor, as are so many women. I have a gay brother and brother in law. My brother is also an immigrant.I am an atheist as are two of my children. I have friends in almost every category that can be picked out and picked on. I cannot tolerate bigotry of any kind.

Is it possible for our country to get past all this hate and shameful behavior. I feel we are going back in time for civil rights. It shames and scares me. Registering Muslims? Really? How is this different than Hitler or what we did to the Japanese? Read what George Takei has written about his internment.  

I am a veteran and this is not what I swore to protect. This goes against everything I have been taught that America stands for. There will always be differences, that is okay, but hate is not. I just wish there was a way to mend things but I am not optimistic. I am scared for all of us and I guess I am sad to lose friends over this. I thought they were better than this. There is no way I could ever support someone like him no matter what it meant to me financially. The price is too high.

I am a pretty liberal person. When I take the tests that tell you where you stand, I am always on the left but not to the extreme. I have realized that I am enough so that when in doubt, I vote Democrat. That is usually how I vote. I also am a very loving person. I truly do not care what someone’s race, religion, sexual orientation, etc is. If someone is good to me and mine, I am good to them. If they cross me or hurt my loved ones, I turn into a mama bear. I have a gay brother and brother in law. I have  a bisexual non-binary child. I would do anything for any of them. I have lots of friends of different cultures, religions, sexual orientations, etc. I love my friends. The last several months, I have listened to a certain orange faced creep talk hate. The bigots have come out of the woodwork. He makes fun of disabled people. He talks about groping women. He has been accused of many cases of sexual assault, including rape of a thirteen year old. She has dropped charges due to being threatened and is no longer around. My guess is she is hiding. He has encouraged people to hit and hurt people at his rallies. He has promoted hate every chance he could get and last night, the country that I swore to protect voted him as our next president. I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. I am shocked. I am scared. I am scared for so many. I am scared for LGBTQ rights, I am scared for women’s rights. Most of all, I am shocked at how so many of my friends support him so much. They honestly do not see that he spews HATE!! I don’t know how you can watch what has been going on the past few months and not see it. Are they blind? Are they ignorant? Are they only watching Faux News? Are they truly bigots and can’t see that in themselves? I don’t get it. Did they hate Hillary so much due to the Propaganda put out about her, most of which were false? Did they truly hate her because she is a WOMAN. I honestly feel that a lot of people just couldn’t accept a woman of any kind as our president, especially after a (gasp) black man. Two people that are not as equal to the wealthy white men of the world.

My eldest child is very politically active. She has campaigned in several elections starting when she was in high school. She is so aware of other people and equal rights. I spoke to her last night and she was hysterical. She was wondering how she could live in a country being led by such a bigot. Here I was, feeling the same way, trying to convince her that it would be okay. I spoke to my bi child this morning and she was so solemn. She is scared of her future and many of her friends. I actually ran into one o her friends today and gave her a hug, this girl that I hardly know just started crying in my arms telling me how scared she is to be a Hispanic bisexual woman now. I have heard stories already of racist things happening and the excuses being that it will be okay now and that things will change. I am afraid that his election is giving permission to all the HATE.

I woke this morning after just a couple of hours of sleep hoping that last night was just a nightmare but, alas, it was not. I felt like I was in shock for the first few hours. I received messaged from friends from Canada and Oz, telling me how sorry they were that things went the way they did. People would ask me how I was and for a change, I was not able to be cheerful. Eventually, someone started to turn my mood around. Some young guy with a dog started to change my mood. I started to pet the dog and the young man (zach) asked how I was. I said “Eh, could be better.” He said that he figures we all felt the same way. After a minute of talking, we ended up hugging. I mentioned that if I hadn’t been working today, I may have had a free hug sign. He mentioned that he had thought about doing that, too. We bonded over our misery and concern. After another hug, we parted ways. I hope I see this young man again. He helped me start to heal from my devastation of the election.

I am still shocked ad devastated by this election but will be okay and will publicly fight to make sure that my daughters do NOT lose their rights. I will actively FIGHT to protect people of other cultures, religions, races, etc. I think that this election may be the spark to get people like me to realize that we need to fight. Not in a violent way but with our pocket books, votes, campaigning and any other way we can without violence. We have to do this in the memory of MLK, MILK, and so many other activists in the past. We cannot let the hateful right wing Christian NUTS take us BACK in time and rights. We need to look to the future and make this country right again because after last night, we all see there is so much work to be done. We cannot sit complacently by like so many did in Germany. We are all human and we need to stick together.