kindness


Things I Overheard While Talking to MyselfThings I Overheard While Talking to Myself by Alan Alda
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Oh my goodness, I LOVED this book. I could enjoy another 200 pages of things he learned. There is so much to think about in this book. There were things that made me laugh out loud and things that made me cry. This book is a series of speeches that he has given and him talking about them. I highly recommend this book and think we can all get things from his insight.

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Over the past ten years or so, I have been working real hard to try and look at things differently. I have never been an optimistic person by nature. I think it is part of my depressive nature. My mother used to tell me all the time to not be so negative. Since my last depressive episode, this has been a goal of mine. I knew that I had to try and make changes to save my life. I have gotten pretty good at this recently and today was a good example of it. Today, it was snowing. It is our first snow of the season. I love snow and was so excited. On my way to work, when I got to the highway, I never was able to get any traction and slid off the road almost immediately. I went straight off an embankment and slid into the bushes. I was sure that I was going to flip the car but luckily, that did not occur. When I came to a stop, I immediately called USAA to get my roadside assistance. I sat there for a while  waiting to hear when the tow truck would be there. I had many people stop to check on me but I was fine. I was told that there were several cars off the road in the next couple of miles so I knew that it might be a while.When the USAA gal called, she let me know that it would be about two hours before the tow truck driver got there. Instead of getting upset, I planned on walking home (about 1.5 miles) and thanked her. The driver called and told me it wouldn’t be that long so I decided to hang out in the car and read. Several years ago, I would have been sobbing by now. I would have been stressing about work, my car, money, everything. Today, I sat there and read and enjoyed watching the snow fall.

I had so many people stop by- a few that I knew but many that I did not. I had one guy stop and ask me if I needed anything, I told him (jokingly) that I wanted more tea. He actually went home and brought me a travel mug full of hot water, a thermos with more, several teas, sugar, a blanket. I had never seen this man before. He told me to call if I needed a ride home or anything else. When he left, that is when I cried. I couldn’t believe the kindness of strangers. Eventually, the tow truck got there. He had a hard time getting my car out safely but managed and I drove to work. The rest of the drive was uneventful. An event that would have stressed me out years ago instead made me look at life in a good way. I was glad it was snowing. I was glad my car and I were fine. I was happy with where I have chosen to call home. I was loving seeing random acts of kindness from so many. I was smiling like a fool all day., so happy about the snow. Nothing could shake that happiness, not even sitting in a car, in a ditch, for three hours. Actually, the worst part of the day was needing to pee after drinking all the tea. I had to climb through the other side of my car to pee in the bushes. It really upset the cows on the other side of the fence but it was worth it.

This morning on the way to work, the traffic was stop and go. I was stopped right past an intersection. When I looked in my rear-view mirror, I thought the gal coming up behind me was going to hit me but she stopped in time. I was relieved. Just a moment later, I  heard a loud crash. I looked up again and saw car parts flying. I saw the car behind me get hit. The car behind her went up pretty high. I thought she was going to be pushed into me. While this was happening, the cars in front of me moved so for a brief split second, I considered going on to work but I just couldn’t do that. If  there had been injuries, I never would have been able to live with myself so instead, I picked up my phone. I called 911 and got out of my car. There were three cars in the accident. Two of the drivers got out of their cars immediately so I checked on the other one, the gal behind me. She was not injured but she was very shaken up. She had her sixteen month old baby in the back seat. He was perfectly fine. He was very happy and playing in his car seat. I quickly checked on everyone else then went back to her. I tried to calm her down and stayed until the police and fire department showed up.

Things could have been much worse. I am sure two of the cars were totaled. The driver that caused the accident was driving  a dealer car from her work. The other was a young man that had never been in an accident before. The gal’s car behind me was the only one that was drive-able after the accident. I am so glad that I didn’t have to use any of my first aid training besides calming them down and making sure the scene was secured and safe. We were lucky that there was a tow truck driver right behind them. He blocked the traffic with his truck so none of us had to direct traffic. I did let the one gal know how to reach me in case she needs to.

All this reminded me that we need to never take things for granted and how things can change in an instant. I was very lucky that she wasn’t pushed into me. Everyone was lucky that they weren’t hurt.

2014, My second Comic Con. When I went to the first one, I really didn’t want to go but took my kids. This one, I was actually pretty excited. I was excited about celebrities that were coming. I was looking forward to dressing up. I have always loved Halloween. As I got older, I found that I loved theater and then in this town I live in, we have another annual event where people dress in costumes. I had two costumes planned for this Comic Con. One was a Steampunk Costume and the other was Catwoman.

I used to look forward to watching the original Batman when I was a kid after school. I honestly don’t know if I ever watched it at home. I remember watching at a friends house regularly. I didn’t read comic books. My mother wouldn’t have thought they were appropriate. I ended up loving Batman and Robin and, of course, Cat Woman. She was such a fun character. At this Comic Con, it was an anniversary of the show and they had all three of the actors there-  Adam West, Burt Ward, and Julie Newmar. I thought that was pretty cool and decided to go to the panel and see what they had to say. I had very little money to spend at Con and it costs extra money to meet the actors usually and always if you want photos or autographs. At Denver Con, the money is actually a fundraiser for an education project but I am a poor single mom.I had no intention of meeting any of these three. That all changed during the panel. All three of them came out on the stage and Julie just exuded sex. I don’t know that I have ever been  in the physical presence of someone that SEXY and it was her 80th birthday and I am not attracted to women. After that panel, I HAD to meet that woman.

I was dressed as cat-woman, I was less than a year after my divorce and still not really mentally healthy. I waited in line having no idea what I would say to her but she made it so easy. She looked at me and said “Now, what do you do for a living?” I told her that I worked at a doctors office and she replied “With that body?” She had me walk for her and then had me come behind her table to get my picture taken with her. She was so good for my ego on that day. Here was this gorgeous woman that just exuded sex telling me that I looked awesome. After years of feeling ugly and like nothing, I had no idea how much I needed that. The picture does not show her personality. She was so amazing in person. I am so glad that I went up to meet her. IMG_7300-2085(rev 0).jpg

I get asked on a regular basis how awful my job is. People are always surprised when I tell them that it is actually a great job. There are so many reasons that I love my job. I get paid to walk around my favorite town in the world and I get paid to exercise. I walk about ten miles a day. I get to meet so many interesting people. I get to pet dogs all the time. I know everything that is going on in my town. There are so many things that I love about my job. I cannot put them all down as I am always thinking of more. One thing that is consistently wonderful is seeing random acts of kindness.

Yesterday, I had a incident that is not all that uncommon but I am going to share this particular one. I had started to write a ticket on a truck that was obviously a tourist. This man and woman are walking down the street. When they get past me and see the truck I am writing the ticket for, the guy asks very nicely if he can save that guy from a ticket. I tell him yes and thank you and that I love seeing these things. A while later, I am in the same location, I start to write a ticket at the car next to the original truck when they come out to leave. They talk to me a bit and I tell them that someone had paid their meter earlier when I was writing them a ticket. She immediately asks if she can save the car that I am working on to pay it forward. Of course, I said yes and I felt so good.

In this world of so much bad news every day, I see these small things every day. It gives me hope in human beings and definitely can improve my mood if I am not in a great one.

That surprise ending the other night might become a surprise beginning. I am so glad that I broke out of my comfort zone. Just a week ago, I was saying that I didn’t have time to date. There were no good men left at least ones that were compatible for me and then BAM!! Just like in Bambi, I am walking around minding my own business, I walk into a handsome face and am twitterpated. Okay, not that blatant or strong of feelings yet but for the first time in a LONG time, I feel that I may have actually found someone that is worth considering giving some time to. I am talking about the cute guy at the bar the other day.

We met for ice cream yesterday at 3ish, per his text. I am a very punctual person so i took that at three, I got to town early, ran an errand, sat in my car for a few minutes as I didn’t want to get there too early but I am a ten minute early or you are late girl. I get out of my car at about ten till and he is crossing the street to get there. He is PUNCTUAL. We had our ice cream and I told him that I had a movie date with a friend to see IT last night so was going to be in town alone until about 8:30 but no plans until then. We talked, we walked, we decided to have dinner and walk and talk some more.  We laughed, we had not awkward moments of silence. We joked. We learned that we have so much in common. He was a perfect gentleman and never even touched me. I was actually a little disappointed a couple of times that he didn’t hold my hand. He had plenty of opportunities. We ended up sitting on a bench for the last thirty minutes together listening to some music at the distillery across the street. He kept asking how much time until I had to meet my friend. I let him know that I didn’t expect him to occupy my time until then and that I always have a book if I have to wait for someone. He wanted to stay with me. The time came to leave, five hours after we met, and he walked me to my car. He gave me a great hug. He just held me so tight. It was really nice. He whispered asking if I would like to see him again. I told him yes and asked him if he wanted to see me again. When we were hugging, I realized that he is pretty tall and pulled back to ask him how tall (6’1″) and he kissed me. WOW. That was amazing. He pulled away and said, on that note, goodnight.

I have hardly been able to keep him off my mind. He is new to the area. Actually had housing with the summer job that brought him here and is looking for a place to live right now. He just started working for the city a few weeks ago and wants to stay here. I sure hope he does. I think this guy has potential. We talked about so many things and some were pretty important. He is a year older than I am but I thought he was probably about 5 years younger. He also thought I was younger. He is physically fit, funny, kind. We have the same basic values. We have not set up a second date yet but I sure look forward to it. I have a crush on him.

I had such a great birthday. The celebration culminated last night and now it is time to recover. The actual day was fabulous. I went to town and got my hair done. I like getting highlights and hadn’t done so in a long time to decided to spoil myself. Got a nice cut and felt beautiful. Afterwards, I went to Starbucks to get a coffee and read a bit when one of my friends that was joining me for dinner texted me. She had gotten into town early, too, and needed to blow time. We live in the adjoining town about 25 miles away. She joined me for coffee and then we went to Ex-bf/bff house for me to finish getting ready. The  fun was ready to begin.

We headed back into town to meet the rest at the restaurant. We get seated and are waiting for the rest of the group to show up when an older couple walk in, each carrying a yellow rose. They come over to me, wish me a happy birthday and hand me the roses. I had no idea who they were. Then someone else came in with a rose, then another. Eventually, I realized that my friend and his girlfriend (she had stayed outside) were doing this. I ended up getting 50 flowers delivered to me by random strangers on the street. I had not expected (nor really wanted gifts) but everyone brought something. Ex-bff gave me a backpacking tent. R came and brought me a bottle of one of my favorite wines. My girlfriends gave me a journal, candle, travel mug, and a flask filled with rum. My kiddo came in after work and brought in a Baskin Robbins cake. The crew paid for my dinner (also not expected) and then we all had cake. I was real surprised to have a friend that moved away show up unexpected. She was in town and did some stalking to find out where I was. I felt so loved. I realized that I will never be alone here. I have family that are not related. Next time that I feel down or lonely, I know that I can call each of those people and probably others. After dinner, most went home but four of us went out on the town. We hit a few bars and the pool hall.

The next day, I went to Ex-bf house and we went down the river in our duckies. I will admit that we did fool around a bit. I was tired and took a nap and he joined me. He wanted to give me the physical attention for my birthday, too. I fell in love with him on my birthday three years ago. I did realize that I am truly over him though. My romantic feelings aren’t there for him at this point. I do still love him and wouldn’t mind if we found our way back to each other but I realize that until HE is emotionally healthy that I do not want him.  That was very eye opening for me.

I have continued to celebrate all week. My mom and sister came down to bring my nephew his things and we had a great time together. We even ended up at the same restaurant one night and the bartenders had ice cream brought out to me and everyone sang to me. If this past week is any indication, this year will be a great one. A big part of that is my attitude. I love that I am finally comfortable alone. I keep turning down dates because I have something else I would rather do. I have come a long way in four years. My divorce was final August 23, 2013 so I also celebrate my Freedom day during my birthday every year now.

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