I met the Banker almost a year ago. I don’t remember if I have mentioned him much or not. I had actually gone on a couple of dates with a bartender at a local restaurant and was visiting him at work and having the fabulous blood orange margaritas when the banker came in. He came in to get a gift certificate for a client and the three of us ended up talking for a few minutes.  The next  day I was working and this young-looking guy walks with me for a few blocks and asks if I was the one at the bar the night before. He said then that he would love to buy  me one of those margaritas someday. I was flattered and said that would be nice but thought he was super young. We didn’t exchange names but he obviously knew where I worked so he knew how to find me if he really did want to take me out. Months went by without seeing him again and then we ran into each other again. I asked him when he was going to buy me that drink. We set up a date for the next week. I knew NOTHING about him except his appearance. This was unusual as until then, most of my dates I had met through dating sites. We met at the restaurant where we met and I figured that as soon as he found out my age, it would be over. I figured he was in his early thirties. I was pleasantly surprised how the date went. First of all, he is in his forties and we actually had a lot in common. I really wanted to see him again. I should have known real quickly to step away from him. He would go weeks without contacting me but when I would see him, he would act very happy to see me. We actually went on a couple more dates but very spaced out in time. I knew he was dating another woman, too. No big deal to me. I was seeing other men. He wasn’t in a committment with anyone. Occasionally, I would mention to him that he obviously wasn’t interested as he would not contact me and then he would back pedal and tell me that he was but was a “mess”. I think I finally figured him out the other night. Last Monday, we had what I expect to be our last date. Once again, we had a good time. We have a lot to talk about. He is nice, good-looking, smart, and meets most of what is important to me in a man BUT he is definitely not ready for anything. He has been divorced a little less than I have been and has two younger kids. I know he is not married anymore and is not lying to me. I have been to his place and he has been to mine. He adopted kittens from me for his kids. The other woman he has been seeing is a teacher at his kid’s school and “is good with the kids”. I can tell that he is not that into her either but I think that maybe he is looking for a new mom for them. He actually mentioned to me recently basically that I was done with kids so would not want to take more on. There is some truth to that BUT that is not a deal breaker for me. I have dated a few men with kids. Yes, the freedom of dating a man without kids is great but I will date a man with kids. If I fall for a guy with kids and we end up together, the kid(s) are part of the package and I am sure I can love the kids if I love the dad. I told him after Monday night that I had a good time but would leave him alone.  He once again apologized for being a mess. I actually feel for the guy and the other gal. She is younger and will probably want kids of her own, which I know he doesn’t want. I mentioned that to him and he said he knew that was a possible issue but since she is so good with the kids that he feels that he should give them a chance. That is NOT a reason to date someone. I feel that he is making a mistake that in the long run will hurt all four of them. I am stepping back and going forward I am not waiting for him just like I am not waiting for R to figure things out. I am just glad that I haven’t gotten too attached to the banker. I wish him luck and future happiness.

Advertisements