I saw something online months ago about the different fears that men and women have about dating and it was quite interesting. I had never really thought about the differences that much but they are significant. I am not doing the online dating thing at this moment but many of the women’s fears or concerns are even with regular dating. The things I saw said that a man’s biggest fear for an online date was that the woman would show up and be fat but the woman’s biggest fear was that this was the man that was going to have duct tape and rope in his trunk. Wow, what a difference. I wonder how true this is.

I know for women that we have to be more careful. We tend to want to meet somewhere public and not go somewhere alone with the man until we know them well. I live in a place that outdoor activities are very popular but are not necessarily safe first dates. As much as I love to go hiking, I am not going to do that with a man that I haven’t met before or barely know. I have done that as a first date with a couple of men. One I had met online but we talked for almost a year before we met in person and were Facebook friends. He lives almost two hours away so meeting in person was not easy. The other one I had been at several events in town that he was at for a couple of months and the trail we went to was very popular. Also, I brought my dogs on both of these dates. We women tend to have a friend that knows where we are and when we should be back. Often times, we have a phone call planned during the date to check on us. I rarely get in a car with someone before several dates and that doesn’t even guarantee that they are safe. We have to “go with our gut” about trusting a date. Luckily, most men ate safe but we do know that the consequences of a bad choice can be very bad, if not fatal. Most of us have been at least scared for our safety at least once if we haven’t actually been raped or sexually assaulted. Crossing the line of going to his place or him coming to yours is always a risk and we hope we are not being stupid.

I have actually had a few men get angry at me for being careful. I feel that a man that cannot understand my concerns and actions to make myself safe is a man that I probably do not want to go out with. The worst one was a guy that messaged me through a site at nine at night. I had never spoken to him before. He asked what I was doing and when I said nothing, he asked me to come to his place. I told him no but that we could talk for a bit. He ended up going off on me for not getting dressed, driving 40 minutes to his house and hanging out with him when I knew NOTHING about him. My gut said no way. I immediately blocked him.

Is it true that the biggest fear for men is that she is fat? I know there are bound to be other concerns. Women can be dangerous. Women can become obsessed and stalk a man but most likely a man is not going to be assaulted or raped by a woman. She can be a con woman and after his money.

What concerns do you think men and women have about dating, especially online dating that I may have missed?  I know most men are not Ted Bundy but men like that do exist. We just have to be safe. I would love to hear others opinions on this.

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