I think I will always wonder that about R. When we met, I was still FWB with ex-bf and quit seeing him to be with R. I will admit, I was not “over” ex-bf at the time but there was something about R that made me want to give us a chance. We always enjoy our time together. We have good intimate relations. I love his son. Just a few weeks into our relationship, I realized that I could fall for this gentle man. He is kind, sweet, loving. He is so much of what I want. He also has a history and a young child. Those things have messed us up, I believe. A few weeks into our relationship, he told me how wonderful I am but something was missing. We have continued to see each other every few weeks for a year now . When he looks at me, I feel so content and happy. I love the nights we can spend the night together. In so many ways, he is perfect for me. I truly think that there are a couple of things that will always keep us apart as a couple. His ex and his kid. I love his kid and like his ex (for the most part) The circumstances are unusual. He is the full time father of a ten year old boy that technically, he has no legal rights to. He is not the biological father. He is the only father the boy has ever known and is one of the best, most devoted dads I have ever seen. That makes it difficult for a couple of reasons. The ex (the boys mother) came out as a lesbian after they broke up so he feels that betrayal. He has fat out told me that maybe he isn’t supposed to have a relationship until the boy is grown. That is so not fair to R but he will do that for his boy. We definitely have something. He is kind, generous, sweet, loving, sexy. We are so compatible. This past weekend, I was house-sitting for ex-bf and R came over for dinner and we had a wonderful evening together. He tells me that I am beautiful, wonderful, sexy, everything I want. I feel the same about him. I love him but cannot fall in love with him. I have put a wall up there so he cannot hurt me again. We both hope the other can find what is “missing” but I honestly do not think he will find it as long as he is a full time dad to a boy with a mother that puts her relationships ahead of her kid. I cannot help but wonder if……

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