When I was younger, pretty much to date, the guy asked the girl out. He would pay and was insulted if she tried to chip in. He would call her, suggest dates, etc.

I have noticed since I am single how many men do not want to make the first move or any move. The Banker man saw me last June at a bar and the next day saw me on the street. We talked and walked a few blocks and he mentioned he would buy me a drink sometime. THREE months later, he still hadn’t made it official so I did. We went out and had a great time but every time we have been together, I have made the step to see him. When I flat out mentioned that I didn’t think he was interested, he asked why I thought that and that he definitely is interested. I feel he sends mixed signals. When we communicate, he flirts like crazy. I can go weeks without talking to him and then when we do talk, he will tell me how he was thinking about me.

I have had a couple of other men that have expressed interest in me but won’t actually ask me out. One example is “The Framer”. I met him years ago on a dating site. We never went out but recently reconnected due to mutual friends. We have socialized together and get along great. He has asked me about having lunch this week. I told him yes and then he tells me to just call on the day I want to and he will come. I would much rather him say, “Can we have lunch this week? Wednesday or Thursday work for me.” That gives me some control but not all the control.  I am a planner, I am not a spur of the moment person.

Another man I met last fall  (the tall one) would do the same thing. He would text me asking me to let him know if I want to get together. I would say yes but then he would never mention anything specific.  He works two jobs with irregular hours. Doesn’t it make sense for him to mention dates, times, suggestions when he “asks me out”? This one doesn’t bother me that much as I am not interested in him romantically. He is sweet but there is something about him that makes me not interested in that way. I see us possibly being friends but nothing more. I definitely do not feel chemistry with him.

What is with this? I don’t really feel like they are asking me out but all three of these men are definitely interested and treat the get-togethers as dates. Is this the new norm?

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