Sometimes, we get mixed up in a situation due to no fault of our own. A year ago, someone near and dear to me (the lonely gal) got involved with a married man, who was a good friend. (I thought) I had been friends with him since my divorce. I even dated one of his best friends. He and I had shared a lot of personal information over the years I had known him. He made me laugh. He was fun to party with. He was a huge part of my social circle. Now, she is a younger gal. She had never been with anyone before. She was not living here but was living a couple hours away in a  tiny town that she was having a difficult time meeting men to date. She had made a few friends but for the most part was very isolated.  He was temporarily living past her and was driving home on weekends to see his wife and kids. He occasionally would pick her up and they would carpool to town. I had introduced them and wasn’t concerned about anything happening between them. She was innocent, knew he was married, a virgin, and not the type to break rules. He had been telling me for a couple of years how much he loved his wife and how he would never ever cheat on her. I had been to their house a couple of times and liked her. He was a flirt but a lot of people are. I flirt with just about anyone but most of the time, it is nothing. Flirting is fun. I knew that she had a bit of a crush on him but understood that but wasn’t concerned.

It all started at my holiday party. Sometimes people will stay over night so they don’t drive unsafely or if the weather is bad. In the morning, they were holding hands and hugging a lot. I talked to her about what was going on and encouraged her to not go forward. In the months that followed, I told him multiple times to NOT do what he was heading towards and not to hurt her. Eventually, it became a full fledged affair and not only was I disappointed in both of them I was stuck in the middle. Of course, the truth eventually came out and he didn’t leave his wife and my young friend was heart broken. We also found out he had been sleeping with a couple of other gals I know, one I had been friends with for years. He had turned out to be a real winner. This all damaged to many relationships. I lost him as a friend. Almost lost the other gal he was sleeping with. She and I have been able to work things out. The young one was used, her loneliness was taken advantage of. Yes, she made poor choice but was really hurt and damaged by this man that I thought was my friend.  He was her first of many things. She and I are fine now but she doesn’t have to run into him or his wife.

I ran into him yesterday when I was at work. It was so awkward. I just want to scream at him. I want to scream at him for hurting multiple friends, for hurting his wife, for hurting me. I so miss my friend but I cannot forgive him or let him back into my life. Unfortunately, we do run in some similar circles  and have mutual friends that do not know what happened. It makes it difficult in our little town and I am sure there will be times that we have to be together. If he had just chosen to stay faithful until he figured things out it would be all different between us all. I don’t think any of those involved realized how their actions would affect everyone else. It was such a mess and actually almost cost me my friendship with ex-bf, too. There is a tiny part of me that would love to let him back in my life at a party buddy but I know I cannot do that for many reasons. I am still so angry at him. When I see him, there is the part of me that wants to scream at him but then there is the part of me that wants to hug him and ask him how he is doing after all this. I am such a damn softy that I want to forgive him and be his friend again but the gals that were involve are way more important to me than he is so there is no way I can. So I will continue just being polite when I see him an ignoring his wife when I see her. Of course, she hates ALL OF US now, even those of us that weren’t involved but knew.

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