I just do not understand people. I have never understood why anyone would even try to cause trouble for other people.

My eldest came home today, she was not real happy and told me briefly how she had almost come home last night and she would tell me about it later. After she got settled in, she sat down and told us all about her few days with her father, his girlfriend that he has supported and lived with for almost two years (from now on called wfb), his brother, fiance and her kids. First thing that was amazing  is she said that she didn’t have any fights with her father.  They fight all the time and have had some horrendous fights over the years. She enjoyed her time with her uncle and his new family. She stated that wfb was awful  to her and she tried so hard to be nice to wfb. They have had trouble in the past but my  DD had decided that she didn’t want to hold onto the anger anymore and wanted to make things better. DD told me that wfb locked herself in her bedroom every day for hours, didn’t participate in family events, and eventually told the ex-husband that he had to choose between her and his family and went to a hotel room on Christmas.

I am just shocked by this. Why would any person, any parent ask their partner to choose between them and the partners family much less kids? Ex-bf has a son that he is estranged with. If I ever had the chance to meet him, I would have practically kissed his ass to make him like me and to try and fix things with his dad. I would be the same with his ex-wife, mother, brother and sister. I did not have the best relationship with the ex-husbands family but I always tried to be nice and civil to them. I never would have expected him to make a choice.  I even encouraged him to fix things with a brother that actually treated me like crap for 23 years.  I always want those I am with and love to be happy. I know our kids are older but you would think that she would want him to be happy and fix things with his kids.

She went on to tell me how much her dad has changed and even told her that he made many mistakes in our marriage. By the time she finished, she had me in tears. I was sad yet happy that he finally admitted he made mistakes and he is working on himself. If he had just made changes a few years ago, we would have made it. Yes, I am happy now but I did want and expect to be married forever. He left thinking that the grass was greener and now he is in a toxic relationship with a controlling bitch that is isolating him from his kids.Even with as bad as things have been with us, I have still encouraged our kids to give him a chance and not turn their backs on him. I did love him and ideally would like us to be able to be friendly with each other again and he have a good relationship with the kids. He told our daughter that he would choose her over wfb, I hope that he does make the right choice. She told him that she will not go back as long as wfb is there. She also told me that she enjoyed her time with her dad. This sure has been an interesting development. Maybe there is a chance for civility with us all. This may be a huge step for him and his kids.