Damn, I know we all have them. Some of us are better at hiding them than others but we all have them. Recently, I was hit with mine. I keep meeting men and had found one recently that I really enjoyed our first date. The first couple of days after the date, he would text me but then the text slowed down tremendously. I got to the point of do I text him at all or not? I have some kittens that we discussed on our date and he had told me that he wanted to get one for his kids so I did have an excuse to text him. I wanted to let him know how they were doing and now arrange for him to come and pick on. I actually went over a week without texting him (that was hard) and when I finally did, it was about the kittens. I wasn’t hearing from any other men either and was just feeling low. With my job, I am alone most of the time and it gives me a lot of time to think. This is NOT always good.  I know when it comes to men I am insecure. I am unsure of doing things that will put them off. I don’t want to scare away the good one I find. How do we get past these insecurities? I read something the other day about how important it is to talk on the phone vs. texting.

reasons to call instead of text

Wow, it sure hit home. Maybe mainly texting DOES increase the insecurities. When we text, it can be hours or even days to hear back from someone. We often wonder why they didn’t text. Are they busy? Are they not interested? Are they interested? Have I annoyed them? So many things can run through your head during the wait.  With an actual phone call, there is immediate response and you can hear tone of voice. It does make things easier. For me, I have disliked the phone for so many years. I worked in a job where I would answer up to 100 calls a day. I got so I never used the phone. I need to change that. I did decide to take a chance with the new guy (banker) again. We were discussing him bringing his kids over to pick a kitten this week and I decided to invite him to join me and a friend to watch the game Thursday. He texted back and told me that he was going to a friends to watch the game but might stop by for a while. I took that as a no but he showed up and we had a good time. At one point, he reached over and squeezes my leg. I was shocked and was very surprised when I had goosebumps from that. We ended up holding hands and he stayed half the game. He told me later (via text) that he wished he had stayed. All that worry and insecurity for nothing but he is nine years younger than I am and since I met him not on a dating site, I had no idea if he was interested in even dating.

I need to kick myself when I start with all the self doubt. I am worth loving and I am fun to be with. I am attractive and am constantly having people think I am 8-15 years younger than I am. If a man doesn’t want to spend time with me, that is HIS problem. I am fine without a man and know that. Insecurities stem from my relationship with my dad but I am willing to take risks in this thing called life.

 

 

Advertisements