of all the hate and violence. I am tired of the media trying to instill fear all the time. I am tired of mass shootings. I am tired of random acts of violence. I am tired of black people getting killed for now reason besides being black. I am tired of the anger against all cops. I am tired of people being angry about the Black Lives matter movement. I am tired of Donald Trump. I am tired of the Muslimphobia. I am tired of the state of the world- mostly our country- at this time. Sometimes I wish that the damn Christians were right and it were the end of the world. What god would let all this go on so I am convinced that he doesn’t exist.

What do we do about all this? I wish I had an answer. I know that we somehow have got to get people to quit hating so much. I cannot help but think this is somewhat like Germany was before the Holocaust. I have gotten to the point that every time there is an incident like was in New York and in Orlando that they are not from the mid-east or Muslim. I know that not all Muslims are Isis, just like not all Christians are not the KKK. Then today, it comes out another young black man is killed because he car broke down. Shot in the back with his hands up and left to die. That would not happen to me if my car broke down. It would not happen to my ex-husband. Hell, it wouldn’t happen to a white man that is a criminal. Why is it so bad right now and seeming to get worse. Is it getting worse or are we just more aware or is the media just showing it more? I was raised as a military brat. I truly never cared what anyone looked like. I have always said that I do not care if someone was purple with green spots that if they were kind to me, I would be kind to them. My best friends many times in my life were black, even when I was in Little Rock. I was a 13 year old girl who spent most of her time with a black boy. I know people thought we were dating. This was in the early 80’s. We laughed about it all the time. I loved him. I miss him. The first time I saw true racism was actually black against white. I was in my Reserve Unit in Chicago. The black women were so sure that I was racist that they initially treated me poorly. I was shocked and it took a while for me to gain trust. That was so foreign to me. I had done nothing to them to deserve that treatment but, thinking back, that must be how they feel when they are treated poorly by white people for no reason.

Two different -isms causing deaths that should not be happening. The religion extremists- both Christian and Muslim- terrify me and every time one does something, it gives more strength to the other. The something doesn’t have to be a physical attack. The right wing’s attitude against the Muslim’s definitely fuels their hatred and every time there is a Muslim that does an attack, it feeds the fear and hate in the right wing. Both supposed religions of peace and religions of Abraham.

The racism just seems to be getting worse too. I just cannot imagine what it must be like to be a black man in America right now. I would be terrified to be pulled over for anything. I would be scared to have my son out and about if he were black. Being a white woman is dangerous and scary enough at times. We get raped and it is our fault but at least we aren’t killed and it is our fault. What can we do to stop these issues from getting worse? If Trump wins, I am actually terrified for the future of the country and the world. He spews hate against almost everyone- gays, women, Mexicans, Muslim’s, middle easterners, Filipinos, you name it. I have friends and/or family in every one of those categories.

I am sick and tired and scared…….