I am asking this because I was talking to my best male friend today and he told me that he hopes that this new guy (A) and I will work out. I responded that I will either be happy with someone or happy without someone. I would love to find someone to grow old with but I would rather be alone than settle on someone just to not be alone. My friend told me that I am much too sweet to be alone and the man for me is out there.

I am not sure I believe that. I may end up with someone. He may or may not be in my life already. Every guy I go out with shows me things that are important to me in one way or the other. I have been single for three years now. There are pros and cons to “finding” someone. Yes, it would be great to have someone to share with and talk troubles out with all the time. Yes, it would be nice to have a someone to have sex with on a regular basis. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to snuggle with when watching a movie, TV, or just for snuggle. On the other hand, it is wonderful to be able to make all my own decisions. It is wonderful to get dressed up or down, based on my mood and not to please anyone. It is wonderful to not have someone expect me to cook and clean for them. It is wonderful to be alone. The longer I am alone, I think, the more difficult it will be to give up tha freedom. Will I let that man go due to stubbornness or pride or independence. Is there someone out there for me? If so, how do I know? Truly know. I thought my ex was and now I truly hate him. I never want to go through that hurt again. It is much easier to keep a bit of a wall up and have these short relationships. I have pushed away several men that were perfectly nice because I do not want to settle. I want passion, compassion, love, respect. I want a man who is a non-theist and a liberal. I want a man that is not afraid to show and share his feelings and emotions. I want a man that will stand up for me but also let me fight my own battles if I want to. I would also love to have a man that fits my physical attraction. Tall (6’2″ is perfect), fit, light eyes. Not fat, good teeth, no tobacco, if drugs, only marijuana occasionally. Intelligent. Kind to others. Are all these things too much to ask? If so, I would rather be alone and happy.

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