So, the guy that I met through my meet up is quite interesting. He has a criminal history  that he let us all know before he came to his first meeting. He didn’t give us details of he crime, just that is was attempted murder and that he is living at the local halfway house. When he showed up at the meeting last month, I don’t know what I was expecting but I know I was not expecting a normal looking guy that was educated and articulate. No strange piercings or visible tattoos. He seems very intelligent and interesting to talk to. He had to leave early due to curfew so none of us really got to know him but I was curious about his story. Not that I was necessarily interested in HIM but I am always curious about people and how they get where they are. Psychology is fascinating to me. I have always thought that most people, deep down, are good. Many people, given a second chance can turn themselves around. All of us have made mistakes or done things that are stupid and could have possibly ruined our lives, IE drunk driving. Most of us have not been caught so we have been lucky. I send him a message via meetup and told him that I was glad he had made it and mentioned the courage it took to tell us his history before he came. Our group was welcoming to him. I don’t think anyone has ostracized him at all. He was definitely treated as he was welcome. I was proud of our group.

This months meeting came around and he was able to stay for the entire meeting and visit afterwards. I found him very intriguing and interesting to talk to. He contributed to the discussion well and I realized that if I did not know his history that I would be interested. As a humanist, I realized, I was interested in at least knowing his story before I decided to give him a shot or not. We have things on common. I had to know so I blurted out to him that I wanted to get to know him. I am definitely learning to say how I feel and do what I want. So, I emailed him and he invited me to come see him at his job so i could get his story and then decide what I wanted to do. He asked me to not google him until after he talked to me. That was an easy request. The media always focuses on the worst of people. I have seen that with people that I know.

Last night, I went to his work before meeting some friends of mine.. We had just under 45 minutes to talk and it was in a public place s I figured I was safe. Damn, we hit it off. He incident was the only time he has been in trouble. He was drunk and did something stupid and no one was even hurt. It really sounds like what he was charged with was excessive for what happened. He has served nine years and will shortly be leaving here to go take care of his elderly mother. He got out early for good behavior and is doing well in the system. I was really, kind of hoping, that after I spent time with him, I would be done with the interest. I usually do not like bad boys. Unfortunately, that did NOT happen and he is NOT a bad boy. He is kind and educated and a hard worker and articulate and has all his teeth. I went out with friends and then went back to talk to him some more.  Eventually, he was holding my hand and then kissed me.  I didn’t expect that but I liked it. He then asked me if I was getting myself in trouble since we know he is leaving in a several months. He is worried about ME in this potential relationship.

I thought about that question the entire drive home and I think he is actually, in many ways, in a more dangerous situation. He stated I was the first girl he has kissed in ten years. In some ways, I am a rebound girl. I am used to my freedom again. I am comfortable with where I am. He is starting all over as I was three years ago but with even less than I was. I ended up texting him when I got home and told him that we all take risks with dating and who knows what will happen in seven months. We may end up deciding we are not at all compatible or the opposite. We will deal with whatever happens. At least, I have made friends with an ex-con. I never thought that I would have a crush on an ex-con. I try to never judge people. He is not a domestic abuser. He is not a rapist or sex offender. He is not a career criminal. He made a mistake while drunk and has owned up to it. Doesn’t he deserve a chance at a relationship? Doesn’t he deserve to some day have love again? Doesn’t he deserve to be happy? I say yes. I just don’t know if I am crazy for participating in this and possibly being involved with him. We are going to fill out papers so we can go on official dates and see what happens. I guess I have to answer all sorts of questions. This is definitely an interesting turn of events.

Anyone have any comments on this? Am I CRAZY???

 

 

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