So, they are still confusing the hell out of me.

The ex-boyfriend is actually on a date tonight. I hope it has gone well but as I said before, I am scared to lose his friendship. I actually told him that the other day. One of the best things about our relationship is we can talk honestly about everything. I have never had that before with anyone. My ex-husband and I definitely never had that close of a relationship. My friend met this gal at a concert a bunch of us were at the other day. I am not jealous but scared.

The second guy has been more attentive to me since that night at his place. I am going to have to talk to him about things. I think that he thought I would be angry about things that had happened that night but I wasn’t. I understand and love that his family comes first. He is one of the most caring loving people I have ever known. When I didn’t get angry, I think he realized that I was not like most women. Last week, I had dinner with him, his son, his ex and her girlfriend. We had a real fun night. It was not the night I expected but it was nice.

I still do not think he is the man of my future though if that were to change, I do believe that he would always look after me. He does that when we aren’t dating. whomever he ends up with will be one lucky lady.

I haven’t been dating much or even really actively looking lately as I have been a bit down due to my son leaving for college in 2 days. I am not ready for that and I have been trying to spend time with him and have been quite low. I do wish I had someone to help me through this change.