I am having a difficult day today but am actually doing okay with it. My husband went away for the next few days to a family wedding and I was unable to go. I really wanted to attend this wedding desperately. The more I am with his family, the more I enjoy them. It has taken me years to feel like they are accepting towards me but now I really enjoy being with most of the family. Some more than others, of course, but isn’t that the same in all families. So I am sad that I am not down in Arkansas for the wedding right now. I am sad that my husband went without me but I am happy that he got to go and hope he has a good time. I wish that he had told me he was planning on  going earlier.

I also am very sad that I cannot be in Vegas this weekend. There is a reunion for my HS this weekend and I am not there. I want to see my friends- some of them I haven’t seen since I left the Philippines.

Damn it sucks, there are two places I want to be this weekend and home is not one of them. I am so glad that I have my kids cuz that will make it better. I am also trying to keep busy so that  I cannot fall into feeling sorry for myself too much.

I hope that everyone has a good weekend and when my husband gets home on Monday night, we can continue working on us. I love him so much and really hope that someday, he realizes that about me again. I really think that he does still love me but we still have some things to work on.