One day, I am just ready to give up and then the next day, I see little glimpses of hope but am afraid to really hope.  The other day when we got home from work, the kids were not home yet from their activities in town and I had to get some KBobs done for dinner that night. I was so shocked and pleased when he came right in the kitchen and started to help with dinner. We ended up working together like we used to. I grabbed us a couple of beer and we talked and laughed and prepared dinner together. I really enjoyed that night. We had a fun family dinner that night, too. We were all laughing and enjoying being together. I wish that this was the norm for us again. Maybe there is hope. Last night, we had an evening of game night and once again had a fun enjoyable time as a family. Things have not been perfect the past few days but he seemed to loosen up and be more of himself with all of us. It was so nice.

He left this morning for a few days on a business trip so I am glad that he left on a good note. Maybe he will think about things when he is gone a bit and actually miss us and maybe even me. I am still lonely as hell and need some physical attention. I sure hope someday he will be willing to give it to me again.

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