Suicide rates on the rise

I almost was one of these statistics. The last time that I was suicidal, my husband (at the time) would yell at me about being depressed. He never once said, honey, I am worried about you, let’s go get help. I was working on a plan. I was crying for hours every night. I was drinking to stop the pain. I even said regularly how I wanted to die. I was just wanting to hide from the world. I didn’t necessarily want to die but I didn’t want to live anymore. Living was too painful and I felt that my being around made my family unhappy. I felt like a burden due to my physical health issues (that got worse with stress) I was so close to acting on my plan and all he did was get angry at me and yell at me. I remember thinking how much better his life and my kids would be without me as I was so worthless. I felt that I wasn’t even worth helping when I was so down.

Please, reach out to people. Don’t get angry at them for being ill. Too many suicides. They are on the rise nationally. Too many people feel alone and worthless. It is a horribly dark place and, at the time, death seems to be the only way out.

Every time I hear of someone dying from suicide, I also hear people state how selfish the person was. To me, that is so offensive. A person that dies by suicide feels that they have no choice. Suicide and depression is something that we need to talk about regularly People need to educate themselves about depression and learn how to support people. One way is to take the QPR class. This is a class to learn to be a gatekeeper for depressed people. Question. Persuade. Refer. I took this class a few months ago with a bunch of friends. I hope I can save lives. I ask my followers too not judge the people with depression and educate yourselves. Maybe you can save a life or two but also remember that if someone you know dies by suicide, it is not your fault either.

 

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At our third Comic Con, my family enjoyed seeing Jewel Staite. We all love her in Firefly and in person, she is so much fun. Here is her panel from that year.

Starting at 19:46, she is asked about this friendly feud she has with Nathan Fillion. I think when we were talking to her later, we were laughing about the story and she told us that if we ever had the opportunity, she would love us to continue it. I thought that she had said it in the panel but I can’t find that part so it must have been in person.

 

After Con, we all decided that someday, we would do this. We had no idea when the opportunity would arise but then last year, he graced us with his presence in Denver. My son, was determined to ask his question and have us all flip Nathan off. They pre-screen people with questions, so my son had to have something else, too, but not only was he allowed to ask a question, we pulled it off. Sort of. At 25:29, my son aka The Joker asks the question. The poor person with the microphone had no idea what to do when my son raised his hand but from the back, my daughter and I saw so many others go up and people were laughing. Later, when we talked to Nathan, he was so kind and funny. He said he was sorry it didn’t go over as well as we had hoped but we felt successful. We flipped off Nathan Fillion for Jewel.

 

This is how I feel

Might be, I'm Wrong

I don’t need someone to complete me.

I am not a part of me but the whole.

Neither my life is incomplete nor my soul.

So there is no point in saying

another person can complete me.

 

I just want someone who can walk by my side

for the rest of my life no matter what is coming.

Someone who would trust me

when everyone else doesn’t.

 13

I need another human being

who I can travel the world with.

I’m not lonely

and I can travel the globe alone

but it would be interesting

if there is someone to hold my hand.

Someone who can guide me home

when I’m lost in the dark.

 

Someone who understands

my tangled thoughts at night

as well as my happiness in the day.

I want someone who can feel

my love for mountains and liking for water.

37d4edcab6c94c3ab3a857e977eec657.jpg

 

I wish…

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I don’t know why I keep trying with this online dating thing. Most men don’t have any decent pictures on their profiles or if they do, there is no information on their profiles. I am not going to message a man that I know nothing about. Just ask me  is not conducive to getting a gal interested. I have noticed that most of the men just send hi messages or make compliments  on my appearance. So often, it is obvious that they haven’t read my profile and just looked at my profile. I have on my profile quite a bit of information on myself. Occasionally, I have someone that is worth talking to, or so I think. I am disappointed greatly more often than not. I rarely even get to meeting them but when I do, that is usually even more disappointing. I haven’t been cat-fished yet . The photos have matched pretty well but a man showing up wearing a cross and talking about how much he loves his ex-wife is not a good date. I clearly say I am an atheist and won’t date someone that religion is important to them.

What is sad though is how many men knock themselves out of the chance within a fe texts. I had a man across the country talk about being part of my family within one day. I had a man tell me that I should do a video page for money. I have had men tell me they are married but in open relationships. So many of them talk such a big talk about dating and getting together and then never will follow through on a date. I have had men that obviously expect me to be available at a moments notice and upset if I do not respond within minutes every time. I have had men text me insinuations about the size of their penis within a few texts.

I started corresponding with a guy this week that seemed nice. He lives a couple states away but seemed like a possibility. I gave him my number yesterday. He immediately asked me for a photo and then was asking why I didn’t send one in my cat-woman costume that is on my profile page. Today, he has been pretty quiet but a few minutes ago asked me what I am wearing. To me, that is a question you ask when you are wanting sexy talk. That is not a question you ask someone that you have been talking to for just a couple of days. I told him jeans and a t-shirt and that I thought it was not an appropriate question this early and he disagreed with me. Am I wrong?

There is a part of me that is so tired of dating or trying to date. This is getting old and I am losing hope that there is a man out there for me.

via You’re Right, Guys—You Can’t Make Women Happy

It Ends with HerIt Ends with Her by Brianna Labuskes

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I usually love these kinds of books but cannot say the same about this one. I felt that it took too long to get to know the characters. I did not like the main character. I don’t mind a flawed character but an FBI agent should at least come across as strong in some ways. I felt she was a very dependent needy, whiny character. I did like Sam but the relationship didn’t make much sense. At least the ending did give it a little bit of sense. The killer was crazy an obsessed with the main character and she didn’t know why??? At the end you wonder how she wouldn’t have known. It wasn’t a bad book but it took me a while to get into it and it wasn’t something that I want more of. That is what I like in a book. One that makes me want more.

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Why I'm Against It All: Rants & ReflectionsWhy I’m Against It All: Rants & Reflections by Ken Wright

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I dig through books at the local book rescue and grab books that look interesting every month. I knew nothing about this book and didn’t pay attention to who wrote it until later. The title and the cover grabbed me initially. I picked it up to log it here and read it and realized that it was written by a local acquaintance of mine. Nice way to get to know Ken better. I really enjoyed this book. I wish I had been able to have fun adventures in my earlier adulthood. I do feel that I have wasted so much of my adult life being in a traditional marriage with a traditional man. I also feel that I have neglected my children by not letting them have adventures. I loved hearing about Ken’s adventures with and without the family. I think Ken’s Parenting Plan sums up this book and his way of raising his kids..
I don’t want my kids to fear death;
I definitely don’t want them to fear life;
I want them to not fear living,
And to fear not living.

He shows this in so many of his essays in this book. There are so many mountain adventures and rafting adventures. I loved the essay about the camping in the backyard and adventuring in the local area to get away from it all when he couldn’t. I love his love for nature.
I have had the pleasure of knowing Ken for about 3 1/2 years now. We met on a weekend in McElmo canyon with a few people in this book. We did go on a hike but I was more excited to know that he is a black belt in the martial art that I study and studied under my sensei’s sensei. Now I have more to talk to him about when I see him. Thanks Ken for sharing these essays with us. Glad to know you

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